So I'm helping Cindy...

Occasionally I get to change roles and join Cindy on her photo shoots. I'm basically her equipment bag boy :) Last weekend I was with Cindy at the beach as she was photographing an engaged couple. I was trying to get creative and carve the couple's wedding date in the sand for a photo. As I did a wave came in and drenched my tennis shoes, socks and jeans bottoms. Afterwards she took me to dinner. I left a trail of sand and saltwater everywhere I stepped.

But we had the most amazing sunset that night. After a year of following sunsets (see blog below) this may have been the best.

Fun at Home

Party of Four?

Perhaps what's weirdest about sending our oldest son off to college is that we will be living, travelling, and eating out as a party of four. We've been the five of us for so long! Appreciate your prayers. We are so excited for Chris. He is definitely ready and we are so proud of him. But it's still really tough.

Today was my dad's memorial service

Dad was amazing.

I had the privilege to lead the graveside service. For those who couldn't be there, but wanted to, here's what I said:

Welcome
Let me begin, on behalf of our family by saying, “Thank You” for being here today. Your love and support mean a lot.

And I am most grateful that God is here.

In the Bible we read these words: God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…. And He is the one … who comforts us in all our troubles, 2CO 1:3-4

That God is available today. PRAY

We have gathered to remember the life of our dad. Neville LeRoi Kyle.

Survived by…

Sister – Marguerite
My mom, Joan.
His Kids, Robert, Haydee, Jenny, Lauren, and myself.
And 6 grandchildren. Christopher, Anne, David, Corrina, Trygve, and Thorsen.

I’ve been thinking about Bouquet Canyon Drive. Dad and I took a reminiscent trip down it a few years back. It was the road he drove my mom to the hospital where I was born. It is a curvy road but he drove it straight. By the end of the day he would forever be cast in this new role – father.

As one of his 5 kids we cherished our remarkable, colorful, gifted, extravagant dad.

We marveled at stories of him.
· Enduring the great depression
· Newsie selling newspapers
· travelling with the circus
· working on a fishing boat
· walking the hills of Griffith Park
· painting murals
· serving in Coast Guard during WWII
· going to art school in Hollywood
· Graduating from USC
· making King Kameamea surf boards in Hawaii
· working for Sheriff’s Dept in a prison
· getting his PhD in Nottingham England
· becoming a world class Psychologist
· living on a boat
· travelling the globe
· and always, always loving the high life, fine clothes, and good food. (in fact, dad always loved to dress up – I feel strangely under-dressed even though I put a handkerchief in pocket – for him – one of his).

He was a remarkable, colorful, gifted, extravagant man. And we cherished him.


One of the treasures we came across as we cleaned out his apartment was his high school yearbook. Many fellow students mentioned his artistic ability.

Dad above all was an artist. His flair early on.

But my favorite comment in his yearbook – a stern looking teaching – who wrote just a few words. “Bob, when will you reform?”

You see, in addition to an artist, he was a rascal.

In fact, dad was a latecomer to the Christian journey.

I remember the week we spent together in England in 1985. I was on my way to Jerusalem … he was on his way to Austria … I to the homeland of Jesus – he to the homeland of Freud … and both destinations were very reflective of our lives at the time … and it worked out for us to spend a week together in England …

We talked and discussed and debated Christianity … I waved goodbye in Heathrow Airport … not knowing the next time I saw him he’d be a Christian.

Dad was a latecomer to the Christian family – but made up for it in last 20 years.

In fact, this is his Bible. I played a trick on my kids asking them if find his favorite verse – saying it is the one that is underlined. As you look at it, every verse is underlined. In the New Testament they have been underlined 3 or 4 times.

He told me God’s Word was his constant companion.

My last time with him we simply spent 2 hours reading scripture. He lifted and lowered his hand like symphony conductor… sometimes mouthing the words …

We read one of his favorite verses which is the end of Isa 40 and I feel it is appropriate to read it now:


ISA 40:26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

ISA 40:27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

ISA 40:28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

ISA 40:29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

ISA 40:30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

ISA 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

That is where our hope is today!

Young or old we grow weary … and eventually we all fall … as dad finally did …

But our hope is in the Lord who promises that one day we will soar with wings of eagles!

Dad struggled to walk in his final years … but God promises now he runs!

None of this RIP stuff for the Christian. He is walking, running, soaring!
___________.

I feel a little like the angel at the tomb of Jesus – same announcement –

He is not here! He is risen!

Because of the resurrection of Jesus – same is true!

We take care of his body … because that is how we knew him and loved him in this life …

But this, all of this, is only to honor his body …

He is not here! He is risen!

He is with his father – God – and with his Lord – the Lord Jesus Christ!

Walking, Running, Soaring!
_____________.

One more thing:

To his kids and grandkids:

I believe Dad would want me to say thank you for your care.

Dad loved to write: On his Blog he wrote this about God’s gifts in his life:

“Not far away, within minutes, are kith and kin, dear people who care about me; they would come if I called. From some immeasurable richness came children … and children's children -- a family I always yearned after, but never quite dared to believe that I had, before now. …Happiness is not for the squeamish...These are gifts that I usually dare not look at directly: I glance sideways and away. I know they are not deserved.”

Dad would want me to say to each of you, especially kids and grandkids, that he loves you and proud of you and knows you were there for him.

And he would encourage you to cherish God’s good gifts ...and to trust God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ as he did.

Europe was awesome!

We had the time of our lives! Here are some photos:

My dad

The day before we returned from Europe I received news that my dad died. He was 85 years old and a latecomer to the Christian family. Nonetheless he cramed a lifetime of Christian experience into his last 20 years and now he is with the Lord.

I loved him. He loved me. He will be missed.

A Clean Slate for the New Year

In some traditions, the New Year begins with people asking forgiveness from each other. Not a bad idea. In keeping with this theme, I have a small confession to those of you who follow this blog.

During December I ran a survey regarding our family dessert on Christmas Eve. I promised we would have the winning vote-getter and that I would post a photo to prove it. The choices were

• Chocolate Yule log


• Figgy Pudding


• Bread Pudding with Custard


• Mince Meat Pie


• English Trifle


• Gingerbread Men.

The winner was English Trifle. So we had .... Cheesecake! We planned to have English Trifle and then some nice neighbors gave us a beautiful cheesecake for Christmas. Forgive me.

As a way to make amends, Cindy did make a wonderful English Trifle yesterday and we had it for New Year's Eve (see photo as proof).

Home for Christmas

As a kid, I always skipped over the genealogies in the Bible (to be honest sometimes I still do – admit it, you do too). But lately I’ve been thinking about their importance.

In Bible times it was their scrapbook, their photo album. It was a way of saying you belong in the family. Perhaps that’s why the book of Ruth ends with a genealogy (looking forward) and the book of Matthew starts with one (looking back). That Ruth, an outsider and enemy of Israel, would be included in both gives me great hope.

I heard the true story this week of a little girl around age 4 or 5 who was adopted into a rather large family. As she began settling into her new surroundings, she often went to the wall in the house where photographs of all the other family members were on display. She would stand there for long periods of time, silently studying each face. About a month after the girl arrived, her new mother took her to a photographer. The mother noted that she wasn’t sure this little one understood the significance of that outing until days later when she came in from playing and her mother sent her to look at the wall. When the little girl saw her own picture hanging on the wall with the rest of the family, she laughed and sobbed at the same time.

That Ruth was included in the genealogy was God’s way of saying, “You’re a part of the family.” No matter where the holidays take you, I hope you find yourself “home for Christmas.” I hope you experience what it means to be at home with God. To see your photo in His album. To know your picture is on the wall in His hallway.

Decorated our tree tonight

I loved it.

(a view from outside)

An Experiment ... because my family doesn’t read my blog

OK, my family does read my blog sometimes. But they don’t need to because they already know about my life. So here’s a little experiment to test the scope and impact of this blog.

I bought some See’s Candy for my wife because she loves it and it’s fun to get it even when it’s not Christmas. I’ve hid it under the piano bench lid. If you know my wife well enough, call her and tell her to look in the piano bench for a little gift from me.

I am posting this on Nov 7, at 7:03 pm. Let’s see how long it takes for someone to call. 1 hour? 1 day? 1 week? If no one calls, I’ll eat the candy myself and post an early list of all my kids’ Christmas presents here too.

FINE PRINT: Courtesy rule: Do not call after 9 pm or before 8 am PST. But you can email her anytime. The experiment officially ends when I hear that she found candy.

Check back and I’ll let you know what happens.

_______________________

Update: Well, I woke up the very next morning and there was a box of See's candy on the kitchen table. Kudos go to Cindy Sutherland for sending my wife an email (In the middle of the night -- what was she doing up?). Way to go Cindy Sutherland! Honorable Mention goes to Janine Sellers who called all the way from Florida to tell Cindy to look under the piano bench lid. So it took about 12 hours for the message to get to my wife. And we all learned a valuable lesson about the 24/7, global reach of the web.

Happy Day

Today my older son and I baptized my younger son in the Pacific Ocean. Oh happy day!

Pacific Coast Highway Beach Bus Tour

Last week we spent a couple days as a family in our 71 VW bus. We called it our PCH Summer Bus Beach tour as we hit the beaches in San Diego and Orange Counties. When was the last time the biggest decision you had to make was, "What beach should we go to now?" Or "Where can we get some beach burgers or chocolate shakes?"

Now I'm back to a more complicated life -- planning my preaching series for the next year. Turns out my first message series will be on "Simplify". And with that in mind, here's a couple photos of our trip:

New Old Heights

Sorry I've been absent from my blog for a bit. We've been on vacation.

Last week my oldest son, Chris, climbed Half Dome in Yosemite for the first time. I've climbed Half Dome three times. All of those treks were before my kids were born. It's weird how life spirals; to see him follow in my footsteps while at the same time knowing his stride and strength easily outpace me.

Well, that was certainly a highlight for me. Maybe I'll tell you about the bears later...

20 years together - Wow!

Two decades ago Cindy and I thought we had love figured out. Rose petals flew and we began THE adventure ... and God has been good and gracious beyond our dreams. We spent the last couple days at a B & B overlooking the harbor where our reception was held. We laughed about 500 people jammed into a $300 reception hall, the church pot-luck style dinner, and how naive we were. If you were there, thanks. If you weren't, thanks for being here now. Here are some photos.

Headed to a Marriage Conference

I'm making a quick trip to Bakersfield to teach at a marriage conference over the next couple days. It's just Friday and Saturday; I'll be back to preach on Sunday. thought I'd try out a few of the things I intend to say on you.

Some key points about communication:

• Good communication takes humility. We must let go of the need to be right and embrace doing right.
• Check what you hear. Don't assume you understand the question or the comment the first time -- take time to clarify what is behind the comment or question.
• Listen for feelings as well as facts.
• Learn to express what you desire. It gives your spouse the ability to be successful at loving you.
  

What about you? What have you learned about good communication?

College visits

Just got back from a whirlwind trip with my son to visit some prospective college campuses in the Midwest. It's the middle of April and it was ... snowing! Talk about a reality check! We had a blast though (and a couple snowball fights).

Afternoon at the Park

Cindy and I enjoyed a much needed day off today. Marriage is an investment of time. The best conversations are unforced. I'm a fortunate man.

Back from the Mountains

Rest is a good thing. Here's a few highlights from the weekend.

• Hiking and hanging out
  
• Waffles with real maple syrup home-made and hand-carried from Wisconsin
  
• Playing a new really fun game called Faces


• Great conversations with family and extended family


• Watching National Treasure again.


• Finishing a really good book, Leadership Above the Line, that was recommended to me by Geoff Horn.


• Resting. Rest is a good thing.

Reading Plan - from on high :)

Our family is away for the weekend so I'm logging in from the mountains. We're enjoying the pine trees, fresh air, and family time.

Doug Sutherland is speaking this weekend from Deuteronomy 8. We'll resume our study through Revelation next Sunday. But for those of you who are trying to read along, here's this week's plan. (I'll update this week to week).

SUNDAY Feb 18 -- Rev 18:11-24
MONDAY Feb 19 -- Rev 19:1-10
TUESDAY Feb 20 -- Rev 19:11-18
WEDNESDAY Feb 21 -- Rev 19:19-21
THURSDAY Feb 22 -- Rev 20:1-6
FRIDAY Feb 23 -- Rev 20:7-10
SATURDAY Feb 24 -- Rev 20:11-15
SUNDAY Feb 25 -- Review Chapter 19

Find previous weeks' reading just scroll down to past posts.

Tribulations

My oldest son just got his driving permit; and so I’m in the mood to write about tribulations.

A couple days ago my wife was out “practice driving” with him. From the passenger seat, she was giving instructions; “You going to turn right here…”; “You’re going to need to get in left lane soon,” etc.

Then she wanted to have him practice parking. They pulled into a parking lot and spied a relatively safe parking space. As they pulled into the spot, she gasped, “You're going to drive over a planter!” Taking that as instructions, he said, “Sweet!” … and proceeded to plow right over the edge of the planter. This, of course, gives us great confidence.

But the more I thought about my son’s response, the more I liked it. When it comes to life it's a great analogy. God has warned us there are going to be some bumps along the way. But He has also given us many reasons to say, “Sweet!”

When it comes to tribulations (bumps big and small), one of the reasons we can be encouraged is because God has promised to seal us through them. This is modeled for us in the Great Tribulation of the last days. There, Heaven gives these instructions: "Do not harm the land or the sea or the trees until we put a seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God." Revelation 7:3.

God always does this with His people. He seals us. While it is true we are not immune from tribulation, nevertheless God walks with us through trouble and protects from judgment. We may experience the wrath of humans, but we will be sealed and protected from the wrath of God. This gives us great confidence in the things that matter most.

Sweet!